My husband is now 50. His low-t set in about 3-3 1/2 years ago while he was deployed to Afghanistan. The doctors at the VA assumed it was just depression so they put him on an SSRI when he returned and also prescribed Viagra. They also checked his t-levels at that time and said they were “normal”. His libido tanked. Not good for me at all. I’m 9 years younger. When I found out that the SSRI could be to blame for his low libido he went back to the VA and switched meds. A year later it had not returned and he had also developed sleep apnea and was gaining weight. His mood was also very different and low. He was basically a completely different person. They checked his t-levels again, at my insistence, and again said they were “normal”. He retired in Jan 2014. By Jan 2015 the problem had not changed at all and he decided to see a GP. She had his numbers checked and said he was low, a 250. It frustrates me that the VA did not catch this. February 2015, he started using Androgel. At the end of June 2015 there was still no change and his numbers had actually dropped to a 235. He and the doctor decided to switch to injections. He gets a shot every 2 weeks. He had his third injection yesterday and still feels no different. My question… how long before he starts feeling different? Does the length of time we’ve been dealing with this matter? He is frustrated, wants to just give up on it. That breaks my heart because we aren’t as close as we were before.
If your libido level worries you or is very different from your partner's and this causes you distress, there are a number of things you can do to improve the situation. Finding a solution to the problem involves determining what seems to affect your libido and then trying strategies to deal with this. The most important thing to remember is that just because one person in the relationship has a lower level of libido than the other, this doesn't mean there is something wrong with either person. It is when the difference in libido is causing problems that you may need to seek help to manage the issue. It does not mean that one person is good or bad, but just that you are different.